Yet another day
Inspired by Sameer's first post and faced with numerous requests (read: Kicks on the butt; "When will you get off your lazy bum and try to write shit in the name of blogging") from both within and without, coupled with the inherent ease with which this post can be written; I present
ps: Some of you may find this post a bit too blunt for your refined aesthetic tastes. For you, I recommend this. Spend some time there, get comfortable with the facts of life and then read my post.
As for the rest of you, isn't this the kahani ghar ghar ki?
Yet Another Day - Part 1
6:00 am : Day ends on a bright note (pun intended). Try to catch up on my beauty sleep.
3:30 pm : Utho munne ab aankhen khol do.
Alternative 1: Ponder for some time on what those dreams dreams were supposed to mean. (A tip to novice psychology enthusiasts: Never trust Freud on these subjects. He'll end up making you believe your dream about floating in a pool of vodka on a raft made of greenbacks is actually your subconscious trying to tell you that you love you mother..... err.... and no platonic love please)
Alternative 2: Try to predict the motion of the honeybee and bet yourself as to whether it will get caught in the spider's web that I was supposed to jhaadoo off months ago.
4:30 pm: Rise and shine. Whistle "Brand new day". Ek lambi saans andar leiiiiiiiiin aur choden. (ps: treat assured to anyone who can teach me how to write choden(Eng: to leave) without sounding excessively vulgar)
Try to squeeze that extra paste from the tube. (My observation of the iotification of the commercial toothpastes: Even though you honestly believe that under no circumstances can even an iota of toothpaste be retrieved from the tube, the next day you'll be able to squeeze enough for that day's requirement)
Lumber off to the toilet. Ahmedabad Times in hand. (For the uninitiated: I pay 90 Rupees per month for the cartoon section in Ahmedabad Times. The rest of the newspaper can, as the gentile put it, go fuck itself for all i care.) Piss while brushing. (Wish everyone were as time-efficient as I am :D )
Do the 1-2-3 routine.
1.) Approach the last toilet. English istyle. Is the floor too wet? The soggy ciggaratte butts on the floor too many? (Thank you, RR) The muddy residue inside the pot too ziddi? ("Kaha tha kal ek baar mein paanch plate golgappe mat khao. Sunte kahan hain log")
2.) Try your luck with the second toilet. Damn! Here goes my bathroom reading down the dumps :(
3.) Agar akhand kharaab kismat hogi to teesre toilet tak jaana padega. You are right. The one with the writings on the wall. A lover once immortalised his love for aditi (no speculations on which one), like Shah Jahan, on one of the walls of this historical edifice with a highly poetic "Aditi I love you" along with some heiroglaphics vaguely resembling the artistic beauty of the Khajuraho temples. And every morning at least ten to fifteen of devotees pay obesience to this shrine of eternal love. As if the testimony to love was not enough, the third compartment also provided glimpses of a likeness of the Saint Kabeer with an extremely enlightening and pithy explanation on what exactly constitutes a chutiya.
As much as i want to dwelve deeper into the experience of some of the finest moments of the day, I have to be attentive towards the sensitivities of the general reader. So lets just say ki iske baad nitya karmo se nivrut hoke aap bahar aa jayiey.
So this is the glorious start of a wonderful day :D
baaki ki baatein phir kabhi. Kabhi mehfil jamayeinge.