Garbled Jabberwocky

Yet another day

2006-04-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Sameer's first post and faced with numerous requests (read: Kicks on the butt; "When will you get off your lazy bum and try to write shit in the name of blogging") from both within and without, coupled with the inherent ease with which this post can be written; I present
before you:

ps: Some of you may find this post a bit too blunt for your refined aesthetic tastes. For you, I recommend this. Spend some time there, get comfortable with the facts of life and then read my post.
As for the rest of you, isn't this the kahani ghar ghar ki?

Yet Another Day - Part 1

6:00 am : Day ends on a bright note (pun intended). Try to catch up on my beauty sleep.

3:30 pm : Utho munne ab aankhen khol do.

Alternative 1: Ponder for some time on what those dreams dreams were supposed to mean. (A tip to novice psychology enthusiasts: Never trust Freud on these subjects. He'll end up making you believe your dream about floating in a pool of vodka on a raft made of greenbacks is actually your subconscious trying to tell you that you love you mother..... err.... and no platonic love please)

Alternative 2: Try to predict the motion of the honeybee and bet yourself as to whether it will get caught in the spider's web that I was supposed to jhaadoo off months ago.

4:30 pm: Rise and shine. Whistle "Brand new day". Ek lambi saans andar leiiiiiiiiin aur choden. (ps: treat assured to anyone who can teach me how to write choden(Eng: to leave) without sounding excessively vulgar)

Try to squeeze that extra paste from the tube. (My observation of the iotification of the commercial toothpastes: Even though you honestly believe that under no circumstances can even an iota of toothpaste be retrieved from the tube, the next day you'll be able to squeeze enough for that day's requirement)

Lumber off to the toilet. Ahmedabad Times in hand. (For the uninitiated: I pay 90 Rupees per month for the cartoon section in Ahmedabad Times. The rest of the newspaper can, as the gentile put it, go fuck itself for all i care.) Piss while brushing. (Wish everyone were as time-efficient as I am :D )

Do the 1-2-3 routine.

1.) Approach the last toilet. English istyle. Is the floor too wet? The soggy ciggaratte butts on the floor too many? (Thank you, RR) The muddy residue inside the pot too ziddi? ("Kaha tha kal ek baar mein paanch plate golgappe mat khao. Sunte kahan hain log")

2.) Try your luck with the second toilet. Damn! Here goes my bathroom reading down the dumps :(

3.) Agar akhand kharaab kismat hogi to teesre toilet tak jaana padega. You are right. The one with the writings on the wall. A lover once immortalised his love for aditi (no speculations on which one), like Shah Jahan, on one of the walls of this historical edifice with a highly poetic "Aditi I love you" along with some heiroglaphics vaguely resembling the artistic beauty of the Khajuraho temples. And every morning at least ten to fifteen of devotees pay obesience to this shrine of eternal love. As if the testimony to love was not enough, the third compartment also provided glimpses of a likeness of the Saint Kabeer with an extremely enlightening and pithy explanation on what exactly constitutes a chutiya.

As much as i want to dwelve deeper into the experience of some of the finest moments of the day, I have to be attentive towards the sensitivities of the general reader. So lets just say ki iske baad nitya karmo se nivrut hoke aap bahar aa jayiey.

So this is the glorious start of a wonderful day :D
baaki ki baatein phir kabhi. Kabhi mehfil jamayeinge.

I rest my case....

2005-06-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

Khotey sikkay is one of those movies which stink so sweetly reminiscing the good ol' days....days when the expectations of the janta weren't high at all - to say the least! Add to it the fact that the filmmakers had neither the potential nor the creativity nor the imagination nor the patience to make a material which was *ahem* oscar class....

Anyways.... so let me tell you the reason for my fixation with mithunda and movies like 'gareebon ka maseeha' and 'disco dancer'.

Lets say that fortunately i've landed up in a place that prides itself in being a world-class place, and rightly so, at least in as far as the artistic tastes of the creme-de-la-creme of the college's intellectual class is concerned.

Not far back in the spce-time continuum were the days when a foreign high class movie meant a universal soldier, a terminator or a mechhena's gold(pardon me for the spelling for im almost certain that ive spelt it wrong).... but lets not digress.... The point is if we were able to see an animated dinosour or fighting spaceships - that was the zenith of perfection....

After coming here, a lot of thigs changed - perception, attitude, expectations.... the class of movies now ranged from the green mile to beautiful mind to forrest gump to american beauty..... and this was just the beginning....Not to say i don't like english flicks. Far from it -i truly relish them.

But as this guy rightly says in American Beauty

"there's so much beauty in the world that sometimes i don't think i can take it all"

exactly THAT was the process that I was undergoing.... seeing perfection setting new benchmarks with every passing movie..... i started becoming a little, well, sick of watching high class movies(if thats the feeling i wanna convey, i dunno....)
It was exactly then that a mithun or a dharmendra flick striking a ready chord making the good ol' days come back again. The surreal antics, the twisted histrionics, the cool tricks all form parts of an eclectic experience.

To all of you uttering a 'duh' at this point, i sadly offer my condolences - for you can never, and may never want to, connect and be a part of something indigenous - something so base and crude in its own might that it seems almost.... well.... delicious.
To all of you who do understand this( and you know who you are), well guys, its high time we rented another mithunda flick. Anyone game for truck driver suraj? ;)

zilch

2005-04-30T02:15:00.000-07:00

tried to write about a lot of things but i dunno... sumtimes words elude u....
and believe its damn frustrating....

Retro

2005-04-26T22:41:00.000-07:00

today im feelin' totally retro....
been listenin to a lot of kishore and mukesh and rafi stuff....
but the song that i like the best is kabhi kabhi....
it so totally captures the essence of all that is romantic, tragic.... takin the dreamworld to another plateau of wanting, wishing for....
and the best part is the monologue by bachchan before the song begins....
its juss too much....
in this run-of-the-mill world producing anything and everything in the name of entertainment from "jeene ke hain chaar din" to "ek garam chai ki pyali ho"..... this is something which can really touch the strings of your heart....
especially the lines
magar yeh ho na saka....
magar yeh ho naa saka aur ab yeh aalam hai.... ki tu nahi teri justjoo bhi nahi....
guzar rahi hai kuch is kadar zindagi jaise....
ise kisi ke sahare ki aarzoo bhi nahi

i mean i dont say im a conosseiur of good poetry or something.... far from it....
but this is something that even someone like me can listen to and appreciate....
where has all this talent gone in todays scenario.... i ask myself?
it is a very pathetic state of affairs that in trying to ape the west(which i call the yo! man phenomenon), we have been terribly mistaken.
Rather than capturing all the meaningful cinema( by which i mean the technical excellence, tight storylines, cinematography).... all we have gathered is sleaze,sex,meaningless violence.....
but you might say, this is what sells, in the end market rules....
which brings me to say.... shit tomorrows marketing final exam n i juss remembered.... gotta get down to study now!!!! will write about it sometime later....

Desperate (for) Some Productive (study)

2005-04-23T00:02:00.000-07:00

picture this....
one course, that too an elective elective, chosen out of my own will...
attended three lectures in all (including the introductory one)....
recently got to know the prof has put up some pdfs on his site....
went thru them....
decided that learning latin is easier....
the prof being from iit AND being in his seventies has attained the penultimate state of knowledge(which by my guess would be an expperience similar to the one budhha got sitting under the bodhi tree)....
sees everything thru the eyes of symmetries and irreps(what does that mean? dun ask me....even i dunno)....
but the little i know is that im supposed to reproduce the properties of the dydadic klein-4 group with respect to the liner transformations on the basis of matrix representations on monday....
i feel like a chicken in deep shit(dun ask me where the analogy came from? i guess thats because my subconscious wanted to use the word chicken)....

random senseless thoughts

2005-04-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

today was another day....
got up at 1300
cudnt go to the coachin coz of sum shitassed TAs governin my life and tellin me wat i oughtta do and what not....
of couse i couldve given the middle one back to them.... but this is SLM we are tokin about....
and the ol' guy(God spare us from his ilk) can go to any limit.... any goddamn algorithm from his convoluted mind to fail people....
to chose the better-safe-than-soory....
clenched my teeth....
ditto with fists....
eyes burning....
breath fuming....
went to the lab....
sometimes i cant understand what is the purpose of these labs....
is it to overemphasise the fact that we, like mindless (and gutless) zombies make circuits, measure the power of antennas and so the kind of shit which makes us feel like pathetic losers in this game of life....
i mean what exactly are we gaining ouuta this.... some 6 marks(if if ur luck and one of the Bs or the Js kind and have perfected the ancient art of wiping-the-ass-clean-with-ur-tongue-clean technique u mite get a tenner too, which obviously i dont, thanks to my super inflated ego, which, keeps me from bowing down in submission before these two pence worth TAs(tounges in asses for me)).... and nothin more nuthin less.....
i mean fuck.... wheneva i think of bloggin i get totally pissed off....
fuck fuck fuck....
next time i'll come loaded with amphetamines i guess....
for now, im gonna have a galla time.... its 0510 now and i believe they open by this time....

the most useless posting there could be

2005-04-15T00:33:00.000-07:00

Gosh its been so many day since i jabberwocked.... hey thats a cool word.... guess im the first one in history to have written it down.... at least theres 'some' first....
i hate to think that pink floyd wrote for me....

Another day....

2005-02-13T18:50:00.000-08:00

tomorrows valentines day....
yipee!! thisz gonna be a world record....
mr. guinness? when did u first celebrate vday? 16? 17? no oh sure it mustve been 20!!!!
i have FUCKING completed 21 years without ever havin a REAL gf.... isnt that a real record? do u love it? fuck you!!!! now take that pen outta ur ass and write it down in that fucking book of urs....
sigh!!!!mere sapno ki rani kab aayegi tu....
literally.... actually the prob is the "try to get wat u like or u'll be forced to like wot u get" funda....
that holds bak....so that makes another v day go down the drain....ironically there'll be a lot of valentine wishes comin my way tomorrow....got a card yesterday only....
but when would the actually-valentenian valentine card come?dunno....for now there r more pressin matters on mind....
gotta do SEN
gotta do DCOM
gotta do MATHS
dunno how im gonna do it
im feelin too bored to type nethin now....will write later....

2005-01-27T01:06:00.000-08:00

today i did the entire report for A for his open elective on "truth fiction and cyberspace realities"....
i agreed to do it.... i dunno why....
i have so much pressure for myself.... i can hardly afford to waste time doing somebody else's assigment....
but i dunno.... he told me he didnt want to write it.... i offered him the help....just got up writing it....
shit! i have so much to do.... write the mc. donalds list, do the fifty questions.... im gonna get fucked....
and im feeling so heavy after writing the report....i dunno....it made me mull over things....think....
and ive not being doing a lot of thinking since quite a time back....
neways i guess i'll have to miss the lectures to do my work....
but i think i did a fine job on the assignment....i think i'll post it....rest later....

An amateur’s struggle to understand Truth, Fiction, Real and virtual

When I was asked to write a “two-page report” based on the concepts of truth and fiction, real and virtual, I was left feeling very hapless. Because honestly speaking, these concepts require a thorough understanding of the philosophy of life and being which I’m not acquainted with. So in this report I can only raise my questions and try to ponder upon them. This is the most I can do.
What is truth? What is fiction? What can be considered real? Virtual? These are some of the questions that always haunt me as I try to find some kind of coherence between events, people, emotions and the society in general.I’ll start with real and virtual. What can be considered real? It is very easy and tempting to define the real as something that can be perceived by the five senses? Is it just that? Or is it something beyond that? If we consider the above description as valid then material objects such as, say a table or a chair, are real.
Perfect. But then what about love? Happiness? Pain? Aren’t they real?This brings me to extend the definition of real as something which can be “felt”- perceived by our physical senses OR felt by the mind as an abstract feeling.
But then what about God? Faith? Belief? For most of the mortals, these feelings can’t be “felt”- in the true sense of the word. So are they virtual? Lets take God for example. Is God real? Or is He just an abstract concept? A concept reinforced into place to keep the whole system from disintegrating, by penetrating a thread of faith and belief into the components of the society, bringing a certain kind of coherence in society, by introducing concepts like karma to make a man do “good” and refrain from all “evil”.
Different religions believe in different Gods. Not only do they believe in their God, but also their God is THE supreme God. They kill for their God, kill in the name of religion. Surely death is real.
Pain is real. So naturally something that results in these things must be real.Which God really exists? I had been brought up in a traditional Hindu family in which there were several Gods, each serving his own specialized purpose, something like a well-oiled machinery. Each God has his own department. So if you are starting a new business, pray to Lord Ganesha. If you are going to give an exam, pray to Goddess Saraswati. For money, pray to Goddess Lakshmi. For power, Lord Shiva. The list is long.
So does that mean that if I pray to Lord Shiva before an exam, I won’t be “blessed”? Or if I bow my head in devotion to Allah, am I doomed? Are all the Gods really sitting up there somewhere, taking notes of how many devotees pray to them and to their “colleagues”.
All this really confused me.
But then I realized (and I may not be correct…. This is just what “I” realized) that these are just concepts, to keep the spirit of faith and belief in a human being alive. So that man has something to look up to, something to blame when things go wrong, something upon which he can rely when the tide is not on his side, to keep the flame of hope burning inside him.
So it is almost like a case of “different strokes for different folks”. Everybody has a right to pray to any God he likes. So in this respect there is a blurring of the line between real and virtual. As for me, I know(I believe, and that strong belief makes me “know”) that there IS a supreme power- He is REAL.
He is omnipresent and omnipotent. He handles all the departments and as far as I know, He is faceless. He is the basic values of life. He is the act of helping the poor. He is the act of feeling sympathetic to the needs of others. He is the act of doing good for somebody. Ina nutshell He is real for ME.
In the same way there can be different reals and virtuals for different people, societies, communities and nations.But I think truth is something that is different from real, and fiction is different from virtual.
Truth is something that IS there. It is not different from everybody. It is a fact, an axiom, almost like a mathematical equation. But it is unfortunate that none of us know what truth is. Save for a few like Mohammed, Jesus and Buddha and, though it is irreverent and disrespectful to think like this, who knows even they know the truth.
Truth is something we know only when we know it. I don’t think I’m making a lot of headway speaking in this ambiguous language of mine, but again I cant speak about something I have no knowledge of.
So I’ll rather speak about fiction and leave truth to the more “enlightened” elements of the society.
Fiction is what emerges in the absence of truth. When man doesn’t know the truth, he struggles hard to believe that something is true. This is where fiction takes birth.
Thus in the end I would like to say that in my understanding, the concepts of reality and virtuality depend on individuals, communities and societies. It is upto them to carve out concepts which suit them- which they can consider as real, even if others think they are unreal. In contrast, truth cannot be dealt in the same way. Truth is not different for everybody. It is a fact and will remain a fact irrespective of whether the evangelists claim it as real or denounce it as blasphemous. Fiction is what results in the absence of truth- as a substitute for truth.

2005-01-23T23:50:00.000-08:00

i dunno what came over me....
but i HAD to copy it down....
one of my all time favorites....i am a rock....
not that i feel like the singer all the time....
but there are moods....good moods and grumpy ones....

A winter's dayIn a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island
I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock
I am an island
Don't talk of love
Well I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island
And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries

chumma....

2005-01-17T23:17:00.000-08:00

i used to think of it as just another slang for locked-lips until J told me....called J today!
i think i found a good friend in J....and this is how life is....the butterfly effect exemplified....sometimes i feel that life is just a series of coincidences strung together....a whole array of if-then-else loops.... the variables a function of space and time....no philosophical bullshit here.... just the thoughts of a confused soul....there HAS to be a kind of coherence, stablility....but i think thats what comes to u under the bodhi gaya....
too much pain in the neck to actually try to get there.....thats the problem wen u try to merge two theories....for now, hedonism rulz!!!!
however THAT particular thing should not come in the way of my trying to disprove the second law....priorities are priorities....shit!!!! i tend to digress such a fucking lot....yeah, i was toking about J....and coincidences....and reserved train berths....i hope i cud be friends with J....it doenst always have to boil down to something which u have to analyse and comprehend logically and try to disprove and dwell on and on....u do somethings in life.... juss because u want to.... chumma !!

elaan- highlight of the day....

2005-01-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

watched elaan today....first day!!yipee....mithunda disappointed me!went to the movie juss for him....no antics.... no histrionics!but it was fun - pure mindfuck....waiting for more of his movies....its too twisted.... me waitin for mithunda movies, dun even try to unravel it!"zamaane ne ki nahi.... mohabbat ki tauheen"- mithundaimmortalised in one his gazillion B+ movies

exacting notes(duh!)

2005-01-13T11:34:00.000-08:00

and i used to think that the second law of thermodynamics is all-true....but its not....but then i dont think anything is universal....and sumtimes the universe does play dice....but im not bothered....and obviously ur shouldnt be too....cuz ur not meant to read this.but if u r.... then obviously u R....jeez......im thinking about doin ramblings of a numbed mind....(note to self-) ask clooney about it....sumtimes i think kahlil gibran is juss a bag of shit....but then.... its juss SOMEtimes....any hey, im not BOUND by law to write sumthin coherent, am i?hyuk-hyukwish hedonism was rewarded....id be a tycoon....but then this isnt the perfect world, is it?is there a perfect world for that matter? i mean in principle, CAN there be one?is the huxleyan world perfect.... well i dunno.... free sex, lots n lots of soma.... doesnt sound all that bad, does it? but then i guess im a savage....trying to prove the second law....which isnt....im glad....dunno why but im glad....there HAS to be an anomalistic behaviour sumtimes.... thats a given.... that is what is being manifested right now....but im glad its just an impulse.... and we come full circle to the fact that the second law, in fact, is NOT true....thats not an axiom but a proposition.... a strong one....but mind has tremendous power, doent it?its all JUSS perceptions....and wat about the orwellian model? i think.... well ironically i cant, in the orwellian model....(note to self- remember the paradox!)but being big brother must be fun....having an array of HDTVs.... shiiiit..... i can make it as kinky as i want to.... but i wont....thanks to the net for providing a place for manifesting mr. hyde(or is he mr. duh?)but i love him.... if its juss a passing phase....gotta sign off....ps---------> i hope i cud remember the next time i sign in- im NOT stoned!

Tuesday

2004-11-02T17:48:00.000-08:00

Well well well....it was as expected!!!!i mean wenever i make a plan i can be sure that chcha murphy will definitely put in his taang in it!!!!i got an sms from D today tellin me verrrrry sweetly that she was leavin for her hometown this monday n that wen i come to delhi she wudnt b able to meet me!!!!i mean what the f*....and to make matters worse, she sez thatshe dunno when we'll get a chance of meeting again....why cudnt i, in the first place, have guessed that since i have made the plan, there had to be sumthin to stop it!!!!to say that im disappointed would be understating!!!!neways sumtimes life teaches u to be patient in subtle ways!!!!g2g now!!!!

mondayz over.... almost

2004-11-01T19:00:00.000-08:00

well, the day was typical.... not exactly tho....yesterday i had a nite out.... its one of those nights when the mice in your stomach play much more innovative games than kabaddi..... and the rooms of the hostel look like the worst drought hit areas of the country....half of the night was spent in search of a bike to go to the osais in the desert.... the 24X7 cafe made for poor souls like us....but then murphyz not my elative juss for nothing....nothing is worse than going from room to room in search of a bike.... banging people's door only to ask the blurry eyed hapless fella "bike hai kya?"after getting the sufficient number of wtf-get-losts, we finally reconciled with destiny, me and R, and settled for a bhujia ka packet found in the room of a sleeping fella.... i wonder how it managed to save itself for us.... but whoever said something like.... "daane daane pae likha......"even the ciggarates had run outta stock so we had to borrow(read steal) it from a junior's room.... there are times when u feel like the scum of the world.... well this wasnt it ;-)after havin my even share of ciggarate and bhujia, there was no way i cud go to sleep....scoured the net for nothings....i wonder how i can turn into a nocturnal animal at times....g2g....rest laters....

mondayz over.... almost

2004-11-01T07:09:00.000-08:00

i used to be one of those poor opininated souls who are of the belief that typing balderdash on the net and using euphemisms such as publishing your thoughts was the worst kinda cruelty that u can infict on mankind....but that was then....and this is now....n as i write my first blog today, i think this is gonna be fun....